Christmas is hopefully a great time for everyone and we talked about our holidays and what we had to eat. This week we ring in the new year and will be going over all that was good and perhaps bad. Pork and sauerkraut? Some type of New Years bread? Rib roast anyone? Nothing spectacular? We’ll go over it all.
Last week we delved into the topic of fear. When we are hurt it certain ways it leaves us with a fear that it, or similar things, will happen again. It skews our ability to rationally and calmly assess a given situation. Jay shared how his dad didn’t pay their car insurance for almost a year and left him unknowingly driving around without insurance. This has left him unsettled and always worried about bills and things coming out of nowhere. Eric talked about his fear of being adequate enough at his job(s). He then spoke of his ability to overcome that by being open, honest, and vulnerable with his bosses. Brian shared some really difficult times he and Alexis went through when they were in the real estate market. He made a great observation about when the phone rings it cuts to your soul with fear. We talked about how fear clouds our ability to think clearly as the emotional side of our brain relatively moves so much faster than the rational side. It would be helpful and nice to be able to calmly think about the worst case scenario in times where we are afraid of what might happen. However, fear precludes us from doing that.
This week we move on to the topic of guilt. When we are hurt we sometimes feel like that it was our fault for whatever happened to us. If we just wouldn’t have done x, y wouldn’t have happened to us. This can come from so many places but our parents can certainly leave us with this reaction. Again, our parents didn’t do any of this intentionally (much more often than not anyhow) but the result is the same. We just feel like we are the reason for the pain we are experiencing. This is often difficult for those who don’t identify with guilt to understand. Imagine someone whose hurt turns mostly to anger trying to comfort someone who has a lot of guilt? It’s hard for them to join them in that emotion.