Guilt to Self-Condemnation
It’s always great have a seat at the table. We had a great time last week talking about New Year’s Eve and great food and family. We also talked about, you guessed it, hurts.
Hurts are emotional needs that are not met or, in fact, taken from you. We have talked about what happens to you emotionally when this happens. Sometimes, hurts turn to anger. Other times fear takes over. Last week we looked at how we can feel guilty when we’ve been hurt. We end up feeling like it is our fault that we were hurt when many, if not most times, it had nothing to do with us.
This week we will look at a slightly but definitively different result of hurts. It is called self-condemnation. We end up feeling like we just aren’t worthy of our needs being met. Whereas when we feel guilty we believe that it is our fault that we were hurt, with self-condemnation we don’t feel like we deserved to have our needs met in the first place. We didn’t even have a chance at having them met.
In a lot of ways, it’s a deep rooted shame that we feel. What’s worse is that the shame is unwarranted. We can even see people who have done far more terrible things than we could ever imagine but still feel like we are worse. We end up cycling, looking inward, and tormenting ourselves.
It is a dark and sad place to be. Nonetheless, many end up there. What can we do about it? What is the solution? We’ll be talking about that this week.
Let’s not forget about #DoBetter! It seems that people are more and more talking about things (often others) can do better. Let us know where you think that others can step up and …