June 1, 2022
Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 158 entitled “Appreciation.” Appreciation seems like a simple emotional need but it can really cause problems in a relationship when one needs it and the other does not. Where is it needed? How is it met? What happens when it’s not met? We’ll be taking a look at all things appreciation at The Table this evening.
- What is it? – Expressing thanks, praise or commendation. Recognizing accomplishment or effort particularly for what someone does.
- What causes it?
- Having it met constantly as a child
- NOT having it met as a child
- Where is it needed?
- For gifts and favors
- For meaningful conversations/relational interactions
- For who you are as a person
- Your relationship to others (similar to belonging)
- Your characteristics
- Your talents/hobbies/abilities
- For everyday chores responsibilities
- How is it met?
- Verbal expressions
- Written expressions – notes, cards, texts.
- Public expressions – social media, social gatherings, family events
- How is it not met/how are we hurt by not receiving it?
- Not giving it
- Giving it to others
- How do we “steal” it when it is not met?
- Giving it when we want it.
- Asking about that for which we would like to be appreciated
- Stopping doing the things for which we’d like to be appreciated
- Stopping doing other things for other people
- Drawing attention to our hurt
- Slamming drawers, acting out
- Detaching from others
- Verbal sighs/groans, physical posture/facial expressions
- Getting the need met elsewhere
- When we do not receive appreciation, how are we hurt?
- Fear – almost manic attempt to do things better
- Believing that you haven’t done enough to get appreciation
- Believing that you haven’t appreciated others enough
- Self Condemnation
- The feeling that one’s actions are not worth appreciating
- The feeling that one’s self is not worthy of appreciation
- Not doing that which you wanted appreciation
- Not meeting others needs
- Spending time getting it met elsewhere