Episode 158

Appreciation

June 1, 2022

ep. 158

SHOW NOTES

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome.  Tonight is episode 158 entitled “Appreciation.”  Appreciation seems like a simple emotional need but it can really cause problems in a relationship when one needs it and the other does not.  Where is it needed?  How is it met?  What happens when it’s not met?  We’ll be taking a look at all things appreciation at The Table this evening.

 

Appreciation

  1. What is it? – Expressing thanks, praise or commendation. Recognizing accomplishment or effort particularly for what someone does.
  2. What causes it?
    • Having it met constantly as a child
    • NOT having it met as a child
  3. Where is it needed?
    • For gifts and favors
    • For meaningful conversations/relational interactions
  4. For who you are as a person
    • Your relationship to others (similar to belonging)
    • Your characteristics
    • Your talents/hobbies/abilities
    • For everyday chores responsibilities
  5. How is it met?
    • Verbal expressions
    • Written expressions – notes, cards, texts.
    • Public expressions – social media, social gatherings, family events
  6. How is it not met/how are we hurt by not receiving it?
    • Not giving it
    • Giving it to others
  7. How do we “steal” it when it is not met?
    • Giving it when we want it.
    • Asking about that for which we would like to be appreciated
    • Stopping doing the things for which we’d like to be appreciated
    • Stopping doing other things for other people
    • Drawing attention to our hurt
    • Slamming drawers, acting out
    • Detaching from others
    • Verbal sighs/groans, physical posture/facial expressions
    • Getting the need met elsewhere
  8. When we do not receive appreciation, how are we hurt?
    • Fear  – almost manic attempt to do things better
    • Guilt
      • Believing that you haven’t done enough to get appreciation
      • Believing that you haven’t appreciated others enough
    • Self Condemnation
      • The feeling that one’s actions are not worth appreciating
      • The feeling that one’s self is not worthy of appreciation
    • Anger
      • Not doing that which you wanted appreciation
      • Not meeting others needs
      • Spending time getting it met elsewhere

THE CREW

Jay Mitlo

Jay Mitlo

Brian Herr

Brian Herr

Eric Hammond

Eric Hammond

Chris Davidson

Chris Davidson

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