September 28, 2022
Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 172 entitled “Respect”. Is there an emotional need more often taken from us or not met than respect? It sure seems like there isn’t a lot of it in our world today. It’s certainly the one most often communicated. But what really is respect when you break it down?
- What is it? – Valuing and regarding one another highly; treating one another as important; honoring one another.
- What causes it?
- Having it met constantly as a child
- NOT having it met as a child
- How is it different than Belonging?
- Belonging is treating one with respect for how they relate to you
- Respect is treating one in high regard simply because of who they are
- How is it met?
- Most often it is enough to simply not DISrespect
- The Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
- Tangible ways
- Allowing someone to speak and have input
- Giving them proper space (traffic, lines, personal)
- Not overbearing someone with your views, input, words (loud talking)
- Seeking the advice or counsel of someone
- Giving one credit for what they have accomplished
- Speaking of another’s accomplishments NOT in their presence
- Standing up for another when they are present or not present
- Keep confidential things confidential
- Keep your word
- Give honest feedback/criticism
- Respond in a timely fashion (invites, phone calls, emails, etc)
- Show gratitude – to not communicates entitlement
- Communicate affirmation of another
- OUR EXAMPLES…
- Accurately understanding or being understood when communicating an idea
- Any time someone shows even the SLIGHTEST bit of depth in understanding me as a human. People are so distracted, so surface, so guarded, but when someone breaks the surface even SLIGHTLY in showing that they see me in a more meaningful way, that’s very respectful to me.
- How has it not been met in our lives?
- Jay – coaching
- Eric – usurping parental decisions
- Chris – being the butt of jokes
- Brian – telling him what to say
- How do we “steal” it?
- Demanding it abrasively rather than assuming it
- Speaking of one’s status or accomplishments
- Forcing oneself into positions of leadership or power
- Always giving one’s opinions regardless of it being asked for or considered
- (maybe) disagreeing just for the sake of having your way
- OUR EXAMPLES
- When someone steals my story and tries to one-up me
- Talking over me – you are telling me that you’re more important than me, that your idea or opinion matters more than mine
- Trying to finish my sentence – you have literally no idea where I’m going with my thoughts
- Not responding or belittling my response. For example, in a group chat I used ot be on, every time I contributed to the conversation, I either got no direct response, the response was contradictory, or the subject was changed, as if I wasn’t even talking. Every time, it seemed. Changing the subject in particular steals that respect because it tells me my line of thought isn’t important or valid enough to even deem a response.
- (Perhaps discuss) Matt 22: 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
- If one does not respect themselves CAN they respect others?
- Does this apply?
- When we do not receive respect, where does it go?
- Fear – Shutting down and not trying to accomplish or, even, matter
- Guilt – Seeing one’s lack of respect as a result of failures in tasks, relationships, life
- Self Condemnation – Believing that one is not worthy of respect and others are right to not respect them
- Demanding the respect from others (see #6 above)
- NEVER respecting others