Relational Needs Questionnaire
While we all have the same relational needs, the priority of those needs is different for each person. Your greatest need may be for affection, while your partner’s greatest need maybe security. One child may have an acute need for comfort, but another sibling’s greatest need may be encouragement.
Appreciation may be at the top of the list for your next door neighbor, while your tennis buddy needs approval more than anything else.
An important aspect of learning to love others is taking the time to know them and to discover what their priority needs are. This questionnaire will help you assess your most important relational needs. Answer the questions, then score the questionnaire to identify which needs you perceived as most important. Have family members, friends, and ministry team members complete the questionnaire and then discuss the results.
(For a downloadable version, click here. To be a guest on our show, you must submit this to us, either by filling in the form below or scanning a copy and emailing the results back to us.)
Quiz Summary
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Categories
- Acceptance 0%
- Affection 0%
- Appreciation 0%
- Approval 0%
- Attention 0%
- Comfort 0%
- Encouragement 0%
- Respect 0%
- Security 0%
- Support 0%
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Question 1 of 50
1. Question
It’s important that people receive me for who I am, even if I’m a little “different”.
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Question 2 of 50
2. Question
It’s important to me that my financial world be in order.
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Question 3 of 50
3. Question
I sometimes become “weary in doing well”.
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Question 4 of 50
4. Question
It’s vital to me that others ask me my opinion.
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Question 5 of 50
5. Question
It’s important that I receive physical hugs, warm embraces, etc.
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Question 6 of 50
6. Question
I feel good when someone “enters into my world.”
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Question 7 of 50
7. Question
It’s important for me to know “where I stand” with those who are in authority over me.
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Question 8 of 50
8. Question
It is meaningful when someone notices that I need help and then they offer to get involved.
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Question 9 of 50
9. Question
If I feel overwhelmed, I want someone to come alongside me and help.
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Question 10 of 50
10. Question
I feel blessed when someone recognizes and shows concern for how I’m feeling.
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Question 11 of 50
11. Question
I like to know if “who I am” is of value and is meaningful to others.
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Question 12 of 50
12. Question
It is important to me to express myself—what I think, feel, etc.—to those around me.
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Question 13 of 50
13. Question
It means a lot to me for loved ones to initiate saying to me, “I love you.”
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Question 14 of 50
14. Question
I resist being seen only as a part of a large group – my individuality is important.
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Question 15 of 50
15. Question
I am blessed when a friend calls to listen and encourage me.
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Question 16 of 50
16. Question
It’s important to me that people acknowledge me not just for what I do but for who I am.
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Question 17 of 50
17. Question
I feel best when my world is orderly and somewhat predictable.
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Question 18 of 50
18. Question
When I’ve worked hard on something, I am pleased when others express gratitude.
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Question 19 of 50
19. Question
When I “blow it,” it’s important to me to be reassured that I’m still loved.
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Question 20 of 50
20. Question
It’s encouraging to me that others notice my effort or accomplishments.
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Question 21 of 50
21. Question
I sometimes feel overwhelmed with all I have to do.
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Question 22 of 50
22. Question
I want to be treated with kindness and equality by all regardless of my race, gender, looks, or status.
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Question 23 of 50
23. Question
I like to be greeted with a handshake or other appropriate friendly touch.
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Question 24 of 50
24. Question
I like it when someone wants to spend time with me.
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Question 25 of 50
25. Question
I am blessed when a “superior” says, “Good job.”
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Question 26 of 50
26. Question
It’s important to me for someone to express care for me after I’ve had a hard day.
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Question 27 of 50
27. Question
When facing something difficult, I usually sense that I need other people’s input and help.
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Question 28 of 50
28. Question
Written notes and calls expressing sympathy after a serious loss or difficulty are (or would be) meaningful to me.
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Question 29 of 50
29. Question
I feel good when someone close to me shows satisfaction with the way I am.
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Question 30 of 50
30. Question
I enjoy being spoken of or mentioned in front of other people.
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Question 31 of 50
31. Question
I would be described as a person who likes hugs and/or other caring touch.
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Question 32 of 50
32. Question
When a decision is going to affect me, it’s important to me that I am involved in the decision.
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Question 33 of 50
33. Question
I am blessed when someone shows interest in what I’m working on.
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Question 34 of 50
34. Question
I appreciate trophies, plaques, or special gifts as permanent reminders of something significant I have done.
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Question 35 of 50
35. Question
I sometimes worry about the future.
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Question 36 of 50
36. Question
When I’m introduced into a new environment, I typically search for a group to connect with.
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Question 37 of 50
37. Question
The thought of change (moving, new job….etc.) produces anxiety for me.
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Question 38 of 50
38. Question
It bothers me when people are prejudiced against someone just because they dress or act differently.
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Question 39 of 50
39. Question
I want to be close to friends and loved ones who will be there “through thick and thin.”
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Question 40 of 50
40. Question
I am blessed by written notes and other specific expressions of gratitude.
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Question 41 of 50
41. Question
To know that someone is praying for me is meaningful to me.
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Question 42 of 50
42. Question
I am bothered by “controlling” people.
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Question 43 of 50
43. Question
I am blessed when I receive unmerited and spontaneous expressions of love.
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Question 44 of 50
44. Question
I am pleased when someone carefully listens to me.
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Question 45 of 50
45. Question
I am blessed when people commend me for a godly characteristic I exhibit.
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Question 46 of 50
46. Question
I typically don’t want to be alone when experiencing hurt and trouble.
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Question 47 of 50
47. Question
I don’t enjoy working on a project by myself; I prefer to have a partner.
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Question 48 of 50
48. Question
It’s important for me to feel a “part of the group.”
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Question 49 of 50
49. Question
I respond to someone who tries to understand me and who shows me loving concern.
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Question 50 of 50
50. Question
I would rather work with a team of people than by myself.