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Relational Needs Questionnaire

While we all have the same relational needs, the priority of those needs is different for each person. Your greatest need may be for affection, while your partner’s greatest need maybe security. One child may have an acute need for comfort, but another sibling’s greatest need may be encouragement.

Appreciation may be at the top of the list for your next door neighbor, while your tennis buddy needs approval more than anything else.

An important aspect of learning to love others is taking the time to know them and to discover what their priority needs are. This questionnaire will help you assess your most important relational needs. Answer the questions, then score the questionnaire to identify which needs you perceived as most important. Have family members, friends, and ministry team members complete the questionnaire and then discuss the results.

(For a downloadable version, click here. To be a guest on our show, you must submit this to us, either by filling in the form below or scanning a copy and emailing the results back to us.)

Instructions: Respond to these questions by placing the appropriate number beside each item:

Strongly Disagree
-2
Disagree
-1
Neutral
0
Agree
+1
Strongly Agree
+2

Relational Needs Questionnaire Scoring Key

These responses relate to the need for ACCEPTANCE.
These responses relate to the need for AFFECTION.
These responses relate to the need for APPRECIATION.
These responses relate to the need for APPROVAL.
These responses relate to the need for ATTENTION.
These responses relate to the need for COMFORT.
These responses relate to the need for ENCOURAGEMENT.
These responses relate to the need for RESPECT.
These responses relate to the need for SECURITY.
These responses relate to the need for SUPPORT.

For Reflection or Discussion:

1. What were your three highest totals? Which needs do they represent?

3 Highest:
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________

2. What were your three lowest totals? Which needs do they represent?

3 Lowest:
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________

3. If others are completing this questionnaire with you (friend, spouse, fiancé, other family members, ministry team members, etc.), what were their highest and lowest totals?

3 Highest:
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________

3 Lowest:
• ____________________
• ____________________
• ____________________

4. What might be the implications of your scores compared to their scores?

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THE CREW

Jay Mitlo

Jay Mitlo

Brian Herr

Brian Herr

Eric Hammond

Eric Hammond

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